Thursday, June 04, 2009

Unexpected events

Things I did not expect, ex-boyfriend edition:
1. That I would still not be speaking to my ex-partner, two years after the end of our six-year relationship.

2. That scarcely two months after the not-great end of a not-quite year-long relationship, I'd have resumed hanging out and even getting shitfaced drunk with my most recent ex-boyfriend--and that it would be entirely fun and entirely un-weird, and we'd be talking even more frankly than we had when we were together.
I'm not sure which of these two circumstances surprises me more. And while it would be incorrect to say that I find them equally agreeable, taken together they're a pleasant reminder (for apparently I need frequent reminding) that life is rarely what we expect.

7 comments:

Doctor Cleveland said...

Well done on the amity with the most recent beau, Flavia, and as for GWB ... is it possible to lend a friend a shrug?

phd me said...

I love how you manage to take it all in stride. Life is rarely anything, is it?

Pamphilia said...

No. 1: Sucks, but your "meh" attitude is excellent.

No. 2: Jealous. That's what I had hoped would happen when my latest ex and I hung out a couple times after 2 months of incommunication. Then I met his new gal and felt nauseated. But I'm still hoping it will happen once I've moved on myself (which is finally beginning to happen and is exciting!)

Flavia said...

P: In the interests of full disclosure, I'm sure the fact that we're both dating new people makes #2 easier--though I think we'd probably have been able to be friends regardless.

And although the two relationships were totally different and no direct comparison of their outcomes/aftermaths is possible. . . I do think those outcomes say something about the individuals involved.

Historiann said...

It makes a lot of sense to me that you're now hanging out with the person you dated for a much shorter period of time and that you broke up with (rather than vice-versa). Breakups are less personal if you haven't been together for years and years, and you don't have the same (mutual) resentments built up that you probably have with a 6-year relationship. And yes, the difference in the individuals involved is also probably decisive as well.

irina said...

Actually, it makes sense to me too. Sometimes, if you've been with someone long enough, you're finished with them, or at least with any kind of role they might play in your life.

I haven't been there, but I've watched it from up close.

Anonymous said...

"I do think those outcomes say something about the individuals involved".

I agree. But what do they say? That is the question.

I'm dating a guy I was (once) engaged to almost 40 years ago.

Yes, we're of a certain age. Quite old actually ... he's (now) a grandfather.

But we're happy when we're together and we do have a lot in common - not least, memories of the distant past.