tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27054305.post5390898638654606441..comments2023-12-23T04:56:29.702-05:00Comments on Ferule & Fescue: Intimate friendshipsFlaviahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17832765671541392835noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27054305.post-63737325039279608462013-11-16T00:40:52.256-05:002013-11-16T00:40:52.256-05:00Fie:
Yes, and you've hit on an important poin...Fie:<br /><br />Yes, and you've hit on an important point, which is that our openness to others or our need to control how we appear to them can wax and wane, depending on life stage. I used to be much <i>more</i> uptight about having people see me in my natural state (despite the fact that I hung out with people casually much more frequently), but for some people it's the opposite: having more control over their lives makes them more reluctant to let people in. But it isn't just a unidirectional process.Flaviahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17832765671541392835noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27054305.post-44658782695919023552013-11-14T23:54:10.805-05:002013-11-14T23:54:10.805-05:00This is cool. I miss having this kind of friendshi...This is cool. I miss having this kind of friendship, too, but I think I might be gaining one. <br /><br />My kids go to school with some other kids whose house is two blocks away from us. I'm becoming good friends with the mom. Recently, she came to our house when it was a straight-up mess. Basically, we'd been too busy to clean. Cleaning is for weekends. Anyway, it felt okay to have her come into the midst of our scrambled house, and I didn't feel judged or anything. It just felt like we were suddenly better friends than before. That's like a true test of friendship -- being able to open your home to someone no matter what the state of it is. :) Fie upon this quiet life!https://www.blogger.com/profile/12047096700049201873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27054305.post-46647868317129239932013-11-14T14:28:52.737-05:002013-11-14T14:28:52.737-05:00CPP:
I'm glad you've had this experience ...CPP:<br /><br />I'm glad you've had this experience recently, too. There's something really profound about sharing in someone else's daily life in this way.<br /><br />I don't think that focusing on one's partner or family, as most of us do as we age, is in any necessary way opposed to sharing in our friends' lives (speaking for myself, my closest romantic relationships have always given me a deeper capacity to love and empathize with others--friends, family, strangers); but it does come down to time, and there's simply less of it to spend with friends as we start devoting more of it to work and family. <br /><br />Last week was a reminder to me both to make more time for my friends, but also to really <i>be with</i> them when we're together (rather than worrying about always having a plan or a reason or an agenda for a visit).Flaviahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17832765671541392835noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27054305.post-1578150576640359332013-11-14T11:41:25.891-05:002013-11-14T11:41:25.891-05:00Funny coincidence that you posted this today. Last...Funny coincidence that you posted this today. Last week I spent two days staying at a dear old friend's home while in their town to give a seminar at their local University. It was awesome to actually be part of the family for a few daya, reconnect with my friend, and get to know his wife and daughters. Comradde PhysioProffenoreply@blogger.com