Tuesday, April 21, 2009

In case of emergency

In my campus office, I have the following emergency supplies stashed in my desk:
Mint gum
Over-the-counter nasal spray
Two lipsticks
Clear nail polish (for repairing runs in my stockings)
Opaque black tights
Safety pins
Hair mousse
Granola bars
A spoon and fork (hotel silver from the Waldorf-Astoria)
Hammer and nails
An unopened picture frame
If I were to die unexpectedly, and someone else had to clean out my desk--I wonder what they'd think.

What do you have in your emergency drawer?


meg said...

Advil, Sudafed, zinc. Cough drops, breath mints, dental floss, toothpaste, toothbrush. Nail clipper, nail file, q-tips, tweezers. Hairbrush, Opinel knife, matches, tampons.

Three corkscrews.

moria said...

Hammer and nails? For... crucifying undergraduates? Crucifying yourself?

I do not have a drawer, nor a desk, let alone a room, because I am not a Real Person and it is only upon the achievement of Real Personhood that such things accrue to one. I do, however, have half of a locker in a computer lab. In that locker - stashed among the library books - are tampons, cookies, and a secret stash of paper for the communal printer. My needs are simple.

But for those emergency crucifixions...

Doctor Cleveland said...

I think it's the Waldorf-Astoria silver that gives you away, Flavia. Everything else in the desk is ordinary and explicable, but the hotel silver kept for office lunches is a novelist's telling detail.

I behave largely like a kangaroo, and keep most of my emergency supplies in my pockets: in coats, in jackets, and in the many little pockets of my work bag. Those are full of breath mints, spare pens, paper clips, and occasionally things left over from various travels. In the my one would find deodorant, plastic cutlery, trail mix and occasionally a bag of dried fruit, mounting squares and double-sided tape for attaching small items to my walls, and my collection of student writing over which there was some teacher-student dispute and which I view as having some evidentiary value.

Flavia said...

Moria: the beauty of having an actual office is having actual furniture and artwork--I've got somewhere in the neighborhood of ten framed items hanging on my wall (and I've added to and rearranged them a few times). But now that you mention it. . . !

And Meg: three corkscrews. I knew you were my hero for a reason.

Tracy said...

Wow! My drawers are empty except for a few pens. My bookshelves? Almost empty, except for journals that are delivered to my university address. My walls? Bare except for a city map of Berlin and a white board.

I am biding my time in this office and work mostly at home (out of my cute office). We're moving into a new building in Fall 2011 (which, you know, is just around the corner!) and so I've kind of avoided personalizing my work office. Lame, but true.

Dr. Crazy said...

I have none of what you list, and not even a kleenex for my breaking-down thesis student. I am so not the lady who's prepared for anything. SO. NOT. I've got, what I suppose, is an actual office. That has made no difference to my lack of preparedness.

Flavia said...

Oh, and I meant to ask, Dr. C (the first):

If the hotel silver is a telling detail. . . what exactly does it tell?

Fretful Porpentine said...

I don't have any of that stuff, although I do have about two dozen highlighter pens, five paperback dictionaries, and assorted extra desk copies to loan to students. Oh, and poster-tack, since I am not upscale enough to own Real Art.

Sisyphus said...

I love that the silver has been ganked, if one could call it that, from the Waldorf-Astoria.

I'm surprised you have so few lipsticks ---- I'm always putting on a certain shade and bringing it with me for touch-ups and then not touching up and then leaving it at school.

What I really need for my office, I've decided, is a magic 8 ball.

Pamphilia said...

If we worked together, I would be the colleague who comes over to your office every day to borrow the opaque black tights, advil, clear nail polish, and lightbulbs.

I can't decide which is more badass- the tights or the hammer and nails. I am so impressed with the extra pair of black tights. For some reason that is just SO COOL. And I'm envious, because I just tore my last pair and I started out in the fall with 6 pairs!

So - can I borrow them?

Doctor Cleveland said...

The silver says style, of course. Anyone who has old-school silver in the drawer in order to eat, what, random cups of yogurt? That bespeaks a love of well-made things: beautifl and durable at once.

phd me said...

Let's see: hairbrush, hairspray, blush, powder, mascara, eyeshadow, lip gloss, hand mirror, ibuprofen, tic-tacs, throat lozenges, band-aids, deodorant, pasta lunches, Special K bars, plastic forks and spoons, tea bags, sugar packets, sticky tac, batteries, stamps.

I am quite envious of your hotel silver!

Bardiac said...

How do you not have Tums or Pepto? I wouldn't survive some days without my Tums.

Renaissance Girl said...

I have nothing in my drawer, except tea. Various kinds of tea. I'm the one who scrounges along my colleagues' offices to find plastic utensils to eat my lunch. And when students cry in my office, as cry they do, I lamely offer them a square off the paper towel roll that's been on a shelf since a class party five years ago. When the nuclear apocalypse hits, Flavia, I'll be in your office.

Susan said...

tea. almonds for mid-afternoon snacks. tylenol. I keep thinking about more useful things, like cutlery, makeup, etc but forgetting to bring it. I also keep thinking about hiding a bottle of something alcoholic in the drawer for emergencies...

the rebel lettriste said...

Meg has THREE corkscrews? WTF?

I have: advil, zyrtec, the holy balm that is Sudafed, nail file, toothbrush and paste, floss, tea, utensils (though not from the Waldorf. I think mine are from the kitchen supply store), loads of lime green ribbon, old wrapping paper, kleenex for the weepers, (dead) flowers from along the bayou en route to work, a hairbrush, a bunch of extension cords, wet wipes, unused Christmas cards, a mini bottle of expensive whiskey, and several thumb drives I don't know what to do with.

And I also have a hammer and nails. And a level.

Flavia said...

I think these lists do show our priorities, after a fashion--or what we consider emergencies (or in some of y'all's cases, that there are no workplace-related emergencies). My major ailments are headaches, both regular and sinus-related, hence the Advil and the nasal spray; the bandaids are for shoe-related blisters or for papercuts. But after headaches, I guess my major concerns are wardrobe or hygeine malfunctions. I use the cosmetics rarely, in part because I usually have what I need in my shoulderbag--but my office is a nice storehouse for the teeny bit of lipstick or mascara that's left in the old tube after I've bought a new one. And You Never Know.

Thanks to your suggestions, I should add wet wipes and throat lozenges to my drawer pronto.

(Oh, and I do have a box of Kleenex in my office, too--but it's not in my drawer.)

Kate said...

I have a similar list. I have a LOT of food stashed in various drawers. Pumping gear because I'm still breastfeeding. Handkerchiefs, napkins, flatware. Handcream, chapstick, lipstick, those rice paper things to get rid of oil. Pens and post-its. Comb. Teabags. And little plastic monkeys.

miltonista said...

My "emergency drawer" is actually a mini-fridge.

Sadly (and surprisingly?), it's almost always been empty.

dr said...

tampons; contact lens case and cleaner; rubbing alcohol; herbal teas; tiny umbrella; toothbrush; tylenol; cough drops; coloring books & colored pencils; hairbrush; band-aids.

Ink said...

Wow, I'm impressed with your lists! I only have toothbrush and paste. And badges from old conferences. I'm completely unprepared for anything. Except a tooth-cleaning or conference-badge-related emergency.

Kate, I have little monkeys in a barrel in my purse, too! :)

Flavia said...

Oh, and I guess I never answered the implied question about my silverware--no, it's not stolen (though I have a nice collection of ashtrays that I stole from restaurants and bars when I was younger). I just kinda have a thing for hotel silver, so I've bought a bunch over the years at flea markets or on eBay. I'm particularly fond of the Waldorf pattern.

Maude said...

i have tea and tampons.

Anonymous said...

nylons, napkins, passwords, expired passwords, notes to paste on my door, tape, loose change, a brush and a lint brush to get hair off my chair.

Jack said...

I am printing this list and putting it in my drawer so I'll know where to go when I open it up and find everything on this list not there.

I have toothpaste and currently a Lynda Barry sketch that I've been too lazy/busy to frame. If you ever find yourself in need, you know where to find my drawer.