tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27054305.post4669586353061736038..comments2023-12-23T04:56:29.702-05:00Comments on Ferule & Fescue: Knowing what you didFlaviahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17832765671541392835noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27054305.post-46687879581594982302017-11-17T01:15:14.041-05:002017-11-17T01:15:14.041-05:00The saddest article title I saw last year was &quo...The saddest article title I saw last year was "Juanita Broaddrick Wants to be Believed" (I didn't read it). I want to say to her, "Juanita, everybody does believe you and always has. They just can't admit that, even to themselves, because they need to be able to sleep at night." Now, of course, we are seeing what was wrought 20 years ago. The American feminist movement sowed the wind and reaped the whirlwind.Andrew Stevenshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13453328821252013152noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27054305.post-82799969378712370312017-11-15T16:35:25.108-05:002017-11-15T16:35:25.108-05:00Good post, thank you. Here is a cogent related art...Good post, thank you. Here is a cogent related article. http://theweek.com/articles/737056/myth-male-bumbler?utm_campaign=newsletter&utm_source=afternoon&utm_medium=11_15_17-article_1-737056Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18218035068983715832noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27054305.post-76787811253307134722017-11-11T14:05:51.026-05:002017-11-11T14:05:51.026-05:00It's possibly a coincidence, but Nina Raine...It's possibly a coincidence, but Nina Raine's new play "Consent" is about a lot of the questions the world is talking about right now in terms of rape, fidelity, and the law. I just presented about it. It's a disturbing and yet incredible play (in my view). I think seeing it live really helped me, because I would have missed how funny it is just reading it. Nonetheless, I think it's worth a read. Fie upon this quiet life!https://www.blogger.com/profile/12047096700049201873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27054305.post-20339964585456002222017-11-08T19:46:12.955-05:002017-11-08T19:46:12.955-05:00Undine:
Well, everyone's experience is differ...Undine:<br /><br />Well, everyone's experience is different. I don't think it's <i>literally</i> true that every woman has a harassment or assault story to tell, though that's the way #MeToo and #YesAllWomen spin things. (And I get why that's rhetorically effective, though surely "75% of Women You Know," or whatever, should be enough!) And the nature of social media is to make us feel anxious about stuff we've missed out on even when it's awful stuff, and it can be really hard to tell if one is just lucky or unobservant. <br /><br />For instance, I <i>know</i> I haven't experienced workplace harassment anywhere close to the legal or actionable variety. But, especially in my youth, I had a number of weird and vaguely sexualized interactions with co-workers that at the time I dismissed as entirely trivial, unserious, or nonthreatening. (In one case--and not what I'd regard as the most uncomfortable--a senior woman actually took me aside to apologize for something a senior man had said about me in front of a group. Obviously she found it troubling, but I really hadn't thought anything more of it than as a grandfatherly dude's mildly ill-conceived attempt to be complimentary.) So though I'm clear that I haven't experienced X, I can't now perfectly reconstruct how pervasive or problematic Y was--not in my own life, and certainly not in my then-co-workers'.<br /><br />I'm pretty aware of the "bad date" or "ambiguously non-consensual" end of things, but the same rules surely apply there. Not everything that happens frequently happens everywhere with equal frequency, and not everyone talks about it, even in the awkward & limited ways we had available.Flaviahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17832765671541392835noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27054305.post-62679837398364456502017-11-07T15:24:00.476-05:002017-11-07T15:24:00.476-05:00"Raptus" was a great post. One of the th..."Raptus" was a great post. One of the things I am haunted by, oddly, is that I didn't see or hear much about the kinds of things you discussed there. But why? Was it there and I didn't see it because I was so sunk in general misery and angst back then? Or because, as you say, we didn't have the language for it back then?<br /><br />Whether harassers change or recognize themselves: I'd like to believe that somewhere there's a human being capable of redemption and remorse.undinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05589384016564587214noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27054305.post-8251500058571845292017-11-07T12:22:32.107-05:002017-11-07T12:22:32.107-05:00Yes, I definitely agree that the most important th...Yes, I definitely agree that the most important thing is to reach people BEFORE they assault or harass, and I'm heartened by how much more fluent my students are in the language of consent than my friends and I were, at their age. <br /><br />But since it will be awhile until we reach a generational turn-over, a future where (we hope) people will raise their sons right, I don't want to write off every single harasser (assailants are more complicated . . . though as a Christian I guess I have to not write all of them off either) as irredeemable. That doesn't mean they don't deserve the full legal, employment, or other consequences for their actions, but I hope some of them are doing some soul-searching, too.<br /><br />And thanks, re: "Raptus." I do think it's one of the better things I did on this blog. Flaviahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17832765671541392835noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27054305.post-46922955874731835872017-11-07T10:57:57.218-05:002017-11-07T10:57:57.218-05:00Interesting questions. I think you're right (...Interesting questions. I think you're right (and the article is) that some people who wouldn't think of themselves as harassing others are indeed harassers, but can change their behavior IF they're drawn to question and empathize. How do we get these people to question and empathize BEFORE they assault and instead?<br /><br />(And I'm reminded of what a good post the one you linked was/is.)Bardiachttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11846065504793800266noreply@blogger.com